Photo Dump

Brady at his first outdoor National track meet. He had to qualify to get in to this meet.  We are so proud of his hard work his first year of college. 

Brinn makes her first trip to the State Track Meet.  Here she is running the second leg of the Sprint Medley Relay.

Nathan spent the last couple of weeks battling concussion symptoms.  I am happy to say that he has passed his concussion test.  Now....if only he can do as well on his spanish final.....

A little bit of tickle torture going on with some siblings here. 

Found this photo on my camera.  "Three-fingers-and-a-pinch" is the message for me from Claire.  Thank you sweet girl for the secret message.  Three-fingers-and-a-pinch to you too....

In the middle of running to doctors, running to track meets, running to work, running kids everywhere, it was necessary to my emotional well-being to "stop and smell the roses."  Or in this case....watch the birds.

Snapshot from Friday, May 3, 2013

I remember situations in terms of stories and snapshots. 

When I look back on a photo, I think of the story behind the picture. 

When I tell a story, I have a picture in my mind. 

It is weird how I am wired that way.  And probably why I like to write and take pictures.  It gives me a clearer understanding in my mind. 

I don't have any snapshots from last night.  I will have to create the slideshow in words.  Please understand that this is only 1/6th of the story, and in all fairness, not even that because it is the story told through my lens... as the night played out for me, and none of the key characters.

Friday, May 3, 2013:

Snapshot:
I fall asleep downstairs while watching the T.V.  and my kindle is laying on my lap.  The news hadn't started yet.  Or maybe it did.  Apparently I was going to stay up for the news.  

Brian came downstairs to check on me.  I notice that I have one missed call.  

The dogs upstairs start to bark.  Brian turns the T.V. on mute.  We hear a knock on the door.  Brian checks it.  I follow slowly behind.

Slowly, until I hear my son's name.   

Snapshot:
 A police officer is standing outside of my door.
There has been a car accident.  A car is flipped upside down on a fence just outside of town. The kids appear to be okay.  But they are not sure where Nathan is.  The kids on the scene say that Nathan was there, but then he walked away.  
My mind is not keeping up with the scene in front of me.
"So was Nathan in the accident?" I ask?  
They think so, but he is not there.  They need to find him.
"Was he driving?"
No.
I'm told that 3 to 6 kids were in the vehicle from what they know so far.  If Nathan was one of them, he either walked away or was thrown from the car.

Snapshot:
While I am talking but not understanding what is going on with the conversation in front of me, Brian calls Nathan and he answers.  
Yes he was in the accident. 
He ran back into town, got in his truck and drove to his dad's house.
To get help?
Because he was scared?
Is he okay?
He was on his way back to the scene.

Snapshot:
Brian drives me just barely outside of town.
We pull up as close as we can.
The only lights are flashing ones.
I get out and run towards the lights.

Snapshot:
I see the car.
It is upside down in the ditch and along the fence.
I hear my name.
One of the EMTs on the scene pulled me into the ambulance.

Snapshot:
I am relieved to see Nathan sitting up.
I am relieved to see two other kids in the ambulance with their eyes open and conscious. 
I want to know what has happened. 
I see tears just barely at the surface of Nathan's eyes.
So I hold mine back.
And I hold him.

Snapshot:
We drive to the hospital.
I'm on the phone with Marz. 
Trying to reassure her that everything is going to be okay.
There have been too many car accidents in the last few years involving their friends.
Car accidents that did not turn out to be okay.
That realization hit me right at that moment.
I thought I was going to throw up.

Snapshot:
I call the person I had a missed call from.  
It was one of the EMT's I met on the scene. 
Her daughter was in the car as well.
She is okay.

Snapshot:
Not everyone went to the hospital. 
Those who did were seen and discharged.
Nathan is still scared.
He has a concussion.
I have my son.
And he still has his friends.
We all get to go home and sleep in our beds.
And wake up to a new day.

Snapshot:
My mind races back through every scene.
Sleep does not come without the dreams that haunt.
I replay the story.
I hear the officer tell me that Nathan is missing.
I hear Nathan's voice on the phone. Not the words, but the panic.
I see the flashing lights
and the car.
My stomach turns as my mind replays each snapshot.

Snapshot:
This morning I still don't have all the answers of what happened last night.
I know the kids were looking for a lane to turn around in and head back into town.
I know they were going too fast and it was too wet and probably not taking the situation too seriously.
I know there were not enough seat belts for the number of kids in the car.
I know my son panicked and ran.
I know that the kids are all okay.
They all know that it is a night that could have turned out very differently.

And I know that too.
I'm praising God for his mercy
his compassion
and a new day. 
 
 

Our not-supposed-to-be-a-busy weekend in Review:

So I knew I was going to a track meet on Friday.  And then to go listen to Curtis Fry talk at our school. 

And I knew that I had a track meet to go to on Sunday afternoon.

Somehow between Thursday night of not-so-much thru Sunday night of not-so-much, a whole bunch of stuff got thrown in.

That's the way our not so busy weekends go, I guess.

  

Marz ran the hurdles on Friday night.  

She was pulled out of one one of her favorite events to run (and one that I think she does quite well in) to run in a new event.  Apparently her coach is still trying to pull her here and there in different events.  I try to tell her that this is a sign of a good athlete when she can compete in multiple events.  

But on the inside, I am wishing I could tell the coach where to put her.

Because I am the one who meets her down on the track after the actual track practice.  

And I can see her strengths 

and her weaknessess

pretty darn good.  

Still so proud of her.

 So here is Brinn throwing the shot.

She really seems to like this event and she improves all the time.

Don't tell her I said this, but she is also an EXCELLENT sprinter.

She scores points for her relay teams every time she is in them.

We are proud of her and all of  her efforts.

   We paid a visit to Ty at Upper Iowa University.

It was the spring scrimmage event.

and Ty is out with an injury. 

So he wasn't wearing a jersey and pads on Saturday.

But he did look like a coach down on the field.  

It was a blessing to see him, talk to him for a few and get him a cart full of groceries.

If I haven't mentioned it on the blog-o-sphere before now, I want to make note of a significant day in Ty's life that happened this last week:  

Ty chose to be baptized...I think with some members of his FCA group and through SALT company.

He knows he was baptized as a baby.

But he wanted to make it known now

that this outward expression of faith was a sign of his own personal faith.

We are so proud of him!

 On our way home from Upper Iowa, we stopped for dinner and ran into a bus full of kids celebrating prom.

Brian stopped to pose with this young lady from West Liberty....

...had to represent for Brady (this is Brady's girlfriend) who was out of town for a track meet!

 And here is the track meet I knew I was going to on Sunday.

Claire taking the hand-off from Anthony....

....and Tookie taking the handoff in the same race, same heat. 

Luckily run in different legs.

All in all, I really do love it when we have Not-So-Busy-Weekends that end up busy.

Life happens in those in-between spots on the calender.

And life is good. 

So I went to this book signing today. 

I already know the author.  Met him like, I don't know, maybe 8 years ago at a writer's conference.  His name is Cecil Murphey.  I just call him Cec. 

(probably everyone calls him 'cec.')

Had a newspaper assignment last year in which it was appropriate that I called on him for a quote. 

So, yeah....I've got his phone number. 

He's only a best-selling author with over a hundred plus books in print...one of them making it to the movie screen...another one or two on the way....

....and we know each other. 

Sort of.

(By "know each other" I mean that I know him, we met, I called him on the phone like every other person in the world who interviews him for things he is well known for and today he did not exactly remember me)

So, yeah, we are tight. 

He signed a book for me and that was fun....

But I got a couple other autographs too:

Sheri Zeck has a story in which she was a ghost-writer in "Chicken Soup for the Soul Find Your Happiness."  I wrote about this story last year in the Quad City Times.  She has an awesome story that is published in this month's issue of Guidepost Magazine.  I got to write about that for the newspaper too.  It should run this week sometime. 

She is a phenomenal writer.  And she told me I was the first to ask for her autograph.  Do you know what that means?

I. Own. The. Very. First. Autograph. By. Sheri Zeck!

Check out her website by clicking HERE


I also got to meet another writer who I have written about.

Shawnelle Eliasen has written many stories for Chicken Soup, Guidepost and other publications. She is super inspirational, a fabulous writer and she's as sweet in person as she is in writing. 

Plus she said she likes my hair. 

We are gonna be great friends I can just tell.

Click HERE to visit her blog. 

About this book signing thing.  I love to listen to other authors talk about how they got into writing and what inspires them. 

It gets me to thinking about what inspires me as a writer. 

There isn't ONE author or ONE story that I can point a finger to as far as where I get my inspiration.  The truth is, every story that I have had the privilege of writing has inspired me.  I see the world around me in terms of "stories."  And everyone has their own.  I love it that I get to meet people who want to share their passions and purposes with me and I get to share that with other readers.  It inspires me; makes me want to live out my own story better....


So I brought with me my own photographer:

She took photos at the book signing for me. 

And we spent the rest of the afternoon celebrating something extremely special:

....her.

I love this girl more than words can even do justice.

I try to tell her every single chance that I can how much I love her.

Apparently this is somewhat embarrassing.  

So we have a code.  Sort of a made-up sign language thing where when we want to say how much we love each other without words, we make the "okay" sign.

Or we just say "3 fingers-and-a-pinch." 

And we both know what it means. 

Dear Claire~  

Thank you for spending the day with me.

You are so special and I am so glad God gave you to me.

3 fingers-and-a-pinch.

~Mama

The Master's Touch

So I wasn't sure if this post was going to be just photos and an update or something on facebook.
But here it goes....I'm talking about golf and life.


So last night was my son's first golf tournament this year.  He is the 7th man out of 11, the way I understand.  This means the team takes 6 people to varsity meets and he golfs as the lead JV golfer when both participate.

For the last week he has practiced and pulled varsity scores.

He stays late, or comes home to eat something and then goes back to the course to golf.

He has not scored over a 45 in the last week.  And that was his highest score.

Last night I got to watch him at his first meet.  My brother, aka: Uncle Shawn, was there.

Uncle Shawn is like the equivalent of royalty when it comes to who Nathan wants to attend his golf meets.   (Uncle Lance and Uncle Andy are also included in this equivalent, but neither of them were able to attend)

The morning started out with Nathan telling me that he wanted me to come and walk the course behind his group of golfers.  And could I please bring him a gatoraide.  And a snack.

Of course.  Isn't that what mama's do?

Uncle Shawn was also able to make it to this meet. 

Warming up for a shot.

After punching out. And get back on track.

I think.

The boys and Uncle Shawn would say things like "nice strike" and "good ball." 

And I was excellent at keeping my distance and just being there to observe.  

But when one bad hole turned into another, I was asked to "go home."

Mama was totally not prepared for that to come out of my golfer's mouth.

I stayed and I struggled as I watched my Wildcat struggle.  

He had pinned so many hopes on this first meet.  

And based them on how WELL he did in practice on this very course.  

Then I went home.  

So did Uncle Shawn.

I don't know what his score was and I am not going to ask.  It is bad enough that his score will be published.  

He came home.

Threw around a whole bunch of attitude.

All I did was say his name.

He walked over to me, sat down next to me, put his head on my shoulder and cried.

"all the work i've done....all the great scores i've had...and i had to choke on the first meet in front of my mom and my uncle."

What do I say?

I held my junior varsity golfer while he cried.

 

And that was it...he got up and, while humbled by his bad scores, determined that tomorrow was a new day.

 

Golf and Life.  

 

"It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me years to realize it."

~Bobby Jones

 

"Therfore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

~Matthew 6:34

 

 

A New Decade

It's like I woke up one morning, and suddenly I was 40.

That day was yesterday. 

The night before the big Four-oh, I was tucking in the girls and saying prayers.  Probably the most memorable one came from the heart of Claire:

"....and dear God, please help mama's 40th birthday be the best 40th birthday ever....cuz she's probably gonna try to have a lot of 40th birthdays......"

What can I say, other than "Amen"?

I decided to start the day off right.  I woke the kids up and we ate cake and ice-cream for breakfast:

Not just any cake.
It is a Jeff's Market marble cake.  My absolute favorite.

I was so excited about eating this cake for breakfast that I forgot to make a wish before I blew out the candles.

This was the first of many things that would slip my mind on my 40th birthday.

Brian took the day off of work.
We took my van and ran a couple of errands. 
The van has been acting up on me; throwing out symptoms of choking and passing out.
But miraculously, the van ran fine while Brian and I drove around all afternoon.

Until I went to pick the girls up from school. 
She died in the driveway.

Apparently my van is haunted and only does this when I am the one behind the wheel. 
I will be checking the yellow pages for an expert in performing vehicle exorcisms.

My evening was spent in West Liberty at a track meet. 
My opinion on this is that we should not be going to track meets when the wind chill is a factor in the temperature. 
That's just me.

In getting ready, I decided at the last minute to change my jeans into my football-season jeans....the ones that I can wear another pair of pants underneath. 
2 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of gloves and 5-shirts-and-a-windbreaker later, we headed off to West Liberty to watch these girls at their first outdoor track meet.

 

 ...but not before we had to borrow money to get in to the track meet.

I forgot that my money was in the first pair of jeans I was wearing.  

In other super-exciting things I did on my 40th:

I shopped at the Dollar General store to buy some ingredients to make my own cleaning solutions.  

I have been wanting to do this since I moved last fall.  

It's true, I live on the edge. 

I also spent the day talking Brian's ear off.  At one point, I was telling Brian a story and right smack dab in the middle of it, I thought of an unrelated question and then couldn't remember the story I was telling him to start with.  

Huh.

Where did that thought go?

All in all, my 40th was a day that I (hope) will always remember. 

But it's okay if I don't.  Because I will probably celebrate it again next year. 

"Amen."

"Fear is a Liar"

So.  Question for you:

"What if the thing you wish most for is the very thing God plans to give you?"

That was a quote/question posted on one of my FB group walls.  I never responded to it, but it really got me to thinking.

There's lots of big and little things I wish for:  healthy kids, healthy relationship, a happy home, laundry that folds itself, money in the bank, to make it through parenting teens, blending happy families, to write a book, to travel and speak nationally, flowers I plant to live, lose ten pounds, to minister to victims of abuse, grow up to be a grandma someday, to be able to find my lipgloss in the bottom of my bag.....

Big and little things.

So when thinking about the above question posted....I really had to narrow down what the thing that I most wish for is.

Obviously I can cross off lipgloss and flowers. And probably the self-folding laundry.

And I want to cross off the ten pound weight loss thing.  I keep crossing it off and circling it again.  It's important.  But not the thing.  


But I think I can sum up what the one thing that I most want is:  to fulfill God's purposes he has for my life.

Sounds good to me.  After all, I recognize certain gifts I have that are God given.  And I recognize that the place I live and this time in history is on purpose and not accidental.  The people placed in my life are for a reason....so whether I completely mess up this whole parenting and step-family relationship thing is irrelevant to the calling to be in relationship in the first place.

Do I have the one thing I most wish for?  Has God already given it to me?  

I don't.

Which doesn't make total sense because wouldn't God want to grant me the one thing that I wish for if that one thing were, in fact, his purpose for my life?

hmmmmm.....

Maybe because I haven't fully accepted all that there is to fulfilling God's purposes for my life.  I understand it is a process. 

But something has always just stood up and gotten in my way:  Fear.

Sometimes fear knocks on the door and I let it in. Sometimes fear sneaks up on me disguised as practical concern, but then turns around and becomes completely disabling.  There have been some instances where fear has been hanging around for so long that it has become comfortable in my own home, leaving its trash all over the place and overstaying its welcome.  

Fear of the unknown, fear of the known, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of practical issues, fear of things that, for the most part, exist only in my head.....

...really, a whole entire laundry list of fears.  Dead weight. 

(I think I may put "self-folding laundry" and losing weight back on my list of important things )


So.  Back to that first question. 

What if the thing you wish most for is the very thing God plans to give you?

God does want to fulfill his purposes through each of our lives.

Personally, I am not exactly sure what that will look like, but I do know this:

When fear comes knocking at my door, I'm gonna put my boots on and give it a good kick in the teeth.  I might even have some harsh words to give it.  If fear sneaks in when I'm not looking, I'm gonna have to tell it to take it's trash and get out.  And if I don't have the energy to face fear on my own, which happens to be quite often, I'll bring in the big guns to take care of the issue.  Jesus can answer the door instead.

Because:

And it is getting in the way of what I most wish for.