Brrrrr. It's cold outside. Like, FRIGID cold.
It wasn't like this 17 years ago.
It was so warm that I think my brothers were golfing.
I think it was somewhere near record-breaking warm temperatures.
But those aren't the numbers I think of when I think about this day 17 years ago.
23 hours, 10 pounds, 8 ounces and 21.5 inches are the numbers I associate with this day.
The day that resulted in the greatest miracle God had ever blessed me with till then.
The day that I learned that my heart could exist outside of my own body.
The day God gave me you.
With only 365 beads left in the jar, it looks so empty.
But I know that each bead we have taken out of the jar represents a full, rich heart-filled day.
Usually on your birthday, I try to write to let you know how proud of you that I am, about milestones you have reached, things you have learned and some encouraging words to start of your new year.
I am so proud of you.
My baby boy is a young man.
The days of me lifting you up for a hug have long passed.
You have to lean down to give me a hug.
You have been through a lot. Faced with a lot.
And you have taught me a lot.
You have shown me with a grace and maturity beyond your years what it looks like to mourn over a lost dream, then to dust yourself off, and go after a new one.
You are a testament to the idea that sometimes the dream you wouldn't have chosen for yourself at first, can be the exact one that you needed.
6,205 days ago, I became a mama.
I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.
In 365 days, the job as I know it will be changing.
And I still don't know what I'm doing.
But I do know this: There are still 365 beads in that jar. I feel as if I am gradually working myself out of a job. But I still intend to make each day that I do have count. I know that you will spend much of the next year or so making decisions about what will happen after high school. Where and what you will study, among other things.
My hope is that you will enjoy the transition from this chapter of your life to the next, and not try to rush through it.
Because someday, you will look back at this time and remember how fast it went.
I have no idea where the last 17 years have gone,
but I sure am proud of what they have added up to.
Happy Birthday, Nathan.
Mama loves you.