Dear Claire,Happy 11th Birthday.
I feel bad that I had to ask you last week how old you were going to be. Because it seemed like you could have been 11 already and going on 12. But deep down I really wanted you to be like 9 going on 10....max.
Let's talk about numbers.
You are a math kind of girl. You dig numbers. You understand them. Love math. In a way that I can't even understand.
But you were always that way with numbers.
For example: You were due to be born on October 19th. Because your older brother and sister were beyond normally huge for newborns, I chose to have a scheduled c-section with you. That day was to be October 11th.
(far ahead of your due date....i was thinking, you know)
You had other ideas about the time and day you were to arrive into my world. Waters broke on October 6th around 7 or 8 pm or so. But it wasn't in that obvious water-breaking way that you see on t.v. So I hung around home until 10 when I knew that this was the real deal and you were ready. I went to the hospital and the doctors asked me about doing things the "natural" way since you were WAY early.
Me being mental and all...by that I mean "mentally prepared" for the c-section...I refused. YOu were born on October 7th at 4:59 a.m. (the only time you were ever a morning person)
You were 9 and a half pounds.
These are some impressive numbers, girl.
The doctor actually felt bad for suggesting anything other than a c-section.
We showed him, didn't we?
You entered the world YOUR way and in YOUR time.
And my world has never been the same since.
I love you with all of my heart.
You are a true middle child. Middle of the family and middle girl.
You don't see this as being a good thing.
Recently I have become aware of just how special of a role you play, as the middle child, is. And I'm trying hard each day to show you how special you are.
A lot has changed in the last year.
A year ago your life long plans were to grow up and live in a huge camper that was parked in my driveway. YOu were absolutely NOT going to ever get married, but you wanted to have three girls and name them all "becky."
You gave me the job of 'babysitter.'
While you are off being a teacher.
This year your life goals have changed.
You want to be a lawyer and live in a mansion that is not located in my driveway.
You want two girls and they have different names (christina and christin?)
And you are open to the idea of marriage.
You continue to challenge me
And while it may seem frustrating to me at times....
I recognize this as being one of your best qualities. It's hard being in the middle.
You will not get lost there.
You will not allow it.
You WILL stand up for yourself
When it matters
And I am counting on that.
Dear Claire-Bear,
Your mama loves you with all that she is.
You are teaching me to be a better mama
And stretching me outside of my natural bents.
This in itself has enriched my life beyond what I could have ever hoped my life could be.
I'm not as good with numbers as you are,
But I know that my life with you in it equals beauty far beyond what my brain can imagine.
Your life goals will change over the years.
But your goals will always matter to me
And they are always an element of my own life goals....
Even if I have to ask you how old you are.
Because, you my sweet middle child
Are a true gift to me.
Maybe
Someday
If you will let me
I can park my camper
In your driveway
And if I have a cat I will name her "becky"
And we
Can hang out
with you.
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