Threads of Thankfulness

Usually this time each year, I write some "random thoughts of thankfulness."

This is appropriate because all of my thoughts, thankful or not, do tend to be somewhat random.

(no big surprise if you visit me here often)

But this year, I am calling these thoughts "threads."

Here we go:

Obviously....these kids....who are quickly growing up to be not-so-much kids.

The one on the left, hiding behind the shades, is my baby.  Still and always a reminder that life is moving faster than I would like, but so blessed to be a main character in her story.  Tookie is a unique combination of all of the characters she gets to look up to.  Feisty, sweet and conscientious.  Fun, a worry-wart and she takes things quite literally.  (a challenge for those of us who like to talk in figures-of-speech) 

And she is a tree climber.

The next little sweetheart is the one with her tongue sticking out.

I tolerate this in photos from her.
Because I know it could be worse.

 She LOVES girl scouts, church camp and the Miracles Can Happen Boys Ranch.

This photo is from the boys ranch.  She left there and told me that someday she would like to work at a place like that.

Here she is at Church camp.
When I look at this girl, I see someone who represents everything I see in myself.  Good and Bad.
I am humbled, grateful and reminded, again, how time does not stand still.  I can be an influence on this kid...good and bad.  Humbling.


This girl is the combination of brains

beauty

attitude

 and heart.

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words.
Adding all of that up...these 4 are worth 4000 words.

And the writer in me is having trouble coming up with any that would actually do justice the the heart, attitude, beauty and brains that are all wrapped up in this one sweet young lady.

My sweet sweet sweet first-born girl.
Another reminder of how life keeps on moving whether I am ready or not.


Speaking of life and the speed of it....This young man looks exactly like his uncle.

And he has characteristic traits just like him as well.

Conscientiousness and a little bit afraid....
but not to the point of letting any of that stop him
From being who God made him to be.

 Football photo:  An example of calling plays, executing them and being a leader.
That is who he is.

 Football photo:  And example of what we thought was a concussion.  But it wasn't .  Feel free to visit the blog archives to read the full story.
But the story behind the story
Which is often the difference between what the world sees and what is really going on
(a theme for, like, everyone...I'm guessing)
Is that there were some major medical issues going on behind the scenes.

 Tests.
Phone calls.
Blood transfusion.
Bone marrow biopsy.

A few days of tests enough to scare us to death
And scare us to life.  

Because there is something about being scared to death (or about death) that makes every day of life there-on-after so much more meaningful.

And fortunately for us, we are all reminding of how fragile and fleeting life on earth is.

As my Wildcat would say:  "YOLO."  (you only live once)

His story this last year is a direct reminder that "YOLO" is true.  We all only live once.  A reminder to me that I want to make each day...each moment count.  For eternity.

Because we may only live once while we are here.

But we will all live forever in heaven.


Other things of SUPREME importance of the threads of thankfulness:

This kid.

 Brian's first born, Ty.
In his Junior year at Upper Iowa University.
An excellent student.
An inspirational camp counselor.
A football player.

A man that I am so glad that my younger kids look up to.

   Brady.....moved to college this fall.
I've always been a fan of this kid.
(oops....I mean young man)
He moved the farthest away from home.
And is doing work.
In the classroom and in the weight room.

I feel like I have watched this kid grow up over the last year.
A weird and surreal feeling.
Maturity does that to people.

I remember when he graduated from jr. high.

another weird feeling.
And a reminder of how this thread of my life is inspired, grows and intertwines with all of the other threads.


Brinn:  Brian's daughter.
I've loved her since I first met her in kindergarten as a classmate of Marisa's.

They were best friends.

This picture represents something else that I am thankful for, and apparently a lesson that God is working on with me:

Love no matter what.

It is okay if this girl does not love me back.
Because I love her, no matter what.

 It is love without response
Love without pretending
Love
Just because.


I am hoping that this story will change in the next near future.  But even if it doesn't, it is another reminder from above of what I need to know about love and thankfulness this year:     I love this kid, am thankful for her and it is okay if that is the way it has to be.

Because that is how God has and continues to be with me.

The ultimate definition of love.

Then there is this guy.  Admittedly, it is not the best picture of us this year.  But is is us....together this year.
We have been together....through tons of ups and tons of downs for almost 5 years.

We've seen the best and we have seen the worst in each other.

We belong more and more to each other and our life together as each day, each chapter and each story unfolds.

And we continue to hold on to each other's hands and hearts  in both of our stories.

Stories that seem to weave together like threads.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for each and every thread that is a part of my life.....and
I am finding that how I braid and re-braid each thread of family, love, and adventure all seem to work together in the story that God has let me be a character in.

The Speed of Life

I can sometimes give the illusion that I am keeping up with the Speed of Life.
On a normal day.

But there has not been anything normal about the last month.

Or maybe it is our new normal.

And I am not only NOT keeping up, but I can't even manage to look like I am halfway keeping up.

Perhaps it is time to hang up the imaginary super-hero cape that I like to bring out on those good days where I am managing motherhood faster than the speed of life.

But I can't find it.
I know it is lost up there somewhere in the recesses of my mind, all mixed up and lost with the bajillion other things that I can't seem to keep up with.

Oh well, I never did like that old cape anyway.
I should have donated it to goodwill while I was trying to potty train my 3rd-born child.
Or at the very least, when I was teaching my two oldest about the birds and the bees.  (Because after that talk, I know for certain that no mama-honoring award should ever be bestowed upon me.)


I'm over it.

But I'm not over being totally thankful that I get to be a character in a story that includes all four of my kids, Brian and his kids, and a community of friends and family that bless me in ways that I do not even think I deserve.

It's a great story.  And I am trying really hard to keep up with this current speed of life and all of the twists and turns in each chapter.

We Don't Share...

...except when it comes to germs.

Then we apparently have NO PROBLEM sharing.  

2 girls

Who, on the surface, it would appear, 

do not ever

share

anything.

Ever.

Except when it comes to germs.

Fortunately for me it all sort of happened on my day off.  

And by "day off" I mean the day that other people are not paying me to show up.  

(I apologize for the newspaper interview appointment by phone that I was not able to keep today)

Days like today

And SEVERAL other days in the last 3 weeks

Have made me so grateful for everyone who helps me out and is flexible with me and all of these crazy circumstances.  

Thank You.  

I owe you.  

And one of these girls woke up from a nap and was crying for her brother:

Sibling medicine seems to be working.

....even when sharing things like germs.

"We" Voted

I voted last night.  When I say that "I voted," what I really mean is that "we" voted.

And by "we" I mean me AND my 15-year-old son and my 14-year-old daughter.

I had to wait until after school, work and basketball practice so that these two could join me.

They both have been following the political race with more interest and smarter questions than many adult voters I know.

And if you know the Wildcat at all, then you already know his political views.
And you probably aren't surprised that when he was a kid, he chose to dress up like a president for Halloween.
And yesterday at the sophomore career fair, he was disappointed that there were not any representatives from the political world.

He follows this stuff...intently.
He knows more about it than me.
He stood in line with me last night long enough to go over the sample ballot with me.
And "instructed" me in how I should vote.
And he learned that there is a back side of the ballot, something he didn't understand last night....

but he told me in no uncertain terms that by the next presidential election....
...AN ELECTION HE WILL BE VOTING IN....
(gulp)
he will know and will vote on the back side of the ballot with just as much knowledge as he votes on the front side.

As mama to these two...I am simultaneously filled with pride at their enthusiasm for wanting to be a voice and vote on issues...
....and I cried when I typed the sentence above about my kids being old enough to vote next time.

Where did the time go?

Random Poem

That's my kid

Just up ahead

In the back of the ambulance

under lights blue and red.

I'm keeping up

Not far behind

Keeping cool, making calls

Not losing my mind.

Fainting, ER rooms

A morning of tests

Admissions, procedures

No time to rest.

"It's time to go home"

I think in my head

But doctors say different

And a word every mama dreads

"We need some more tests

to rule in or rule out..."

A cancer diagnosis

may be coming about.

We transfer hospitals

We test and we wait

Discussing all possible

Outcomes and debate.

We don't know

What the tests may show.

We talk about the positve

We snuggle and we share

Life, stories, friends

And unanswered prayers.

We recognize the best

possible outcome of this

and joke that this all

is probably a miss.

It's Friday and you

have football on your mind

I indulge you, cuz I'm mama

And I can do that, I find. 

But normal has changed

as we wait for these tests

Normal is no longer

the "normal" requests.

As they took your bone marrow

To test for diagnosis

I knew in my heart

What Should be the prognosis.

And yes, I was there

Through the entire test

Because deep down in my heart

I knew I was blessed.

A long time ago

Before you were born

I thought I was loosing you

And I made a promise duley sworn.

"Dear God "I prayed

And I begged without end

"Please give me this child and 

I promise to spend

Each day as his mom

Teaching him about You

And your love that abounds

Every day is anew."

Lo and Behold

(cheesey words for a rhyme)

I was reminded today

of this prayer of mine.

And here I am

Watching what I'm told is your fate

And I know that my prayers

Have not been too late.

Because no matter what

the tests tell me

I know that you are the Nathan

The Lord made you to be.

We  have since found out

That your medical tests show

Your story does not

Include cancer

Although

I renewed my promise

Made 16 years ago

And as your mama

I want you to know

that no matter what life

Happens to hand to you

That you are uniquely chosen

To be the the one

to follow through

God has a plan for your life

my sweet and only son

Walk the path

laid out for you by the One

Who is the giver of life

and every breath we take

And every day is a test

from the minute we awake.

Your story is one

that inspires me

To be the best

That I can be.

And today that means

being a mama to you

And your three sisters

IN all that you do.

I'm right here beside you

All as you continue to grow

And for ever after

Because one thing we know

We were given to each other

To live this life

For one day at a time

In good times and strife. 

So whether our tests include doctors
schools and other things
Don't forget that I'm here for you
In all that life brings.