Dear Identity Thief,

Today, you un-nerved me.

Like, seriously.

 I admit, when my bouncer called me today and informed me for the first time that I needed to check the "situation" out....I was clearly caught off-gaurd.

Actually...I sort of thought it would be something equivilent to the "icing on the cake" of a really bad day....gone worse. 

Forget that I had to run ONE errand 3.5 times this morning.
To accomplish ONE thing.

Forget that I am a tad bit bitter that this ONE errand was something that I am supposed to be pretending that I really am not doing....so as to not make the issue any more awkward than it is. 


(if you read my blog and and don't know what i am talking about with the above comment, i apologize. i can clear that up for you in a matter of 2 sentences. but if you have to ask, then you probably don't know me well enough.)


And forget that I was for sure that a traffic ticket would have been the ending of a bad day gone worse. 


So.

Next: I am off to buy an outfit that makes me look way more hotter than I feel. 

Or....makes me think I feel way more hotter than I look. 

But it isn't for you to judge. 

Becuase:  I call it therapy.  Call it what you want.  But I don't have health insurance and so this is actually budgeted in to the account that I call: therapy.

About 3 seconds after the transaction is complete, I get a phone call from a number I don't recognize saying that my debit card has questionable activity on it and that  I need to contact my bank immdediately.

Fortunately for me, I have a friend on the bank's payroll that I like to call a friend.  Don't know if (this person) likes it, but it is his/her own problem for giving me their cell number.

Not that that call helped me.

But it did warn the others at the bank that I am coming in. 

And those others:

WELL 

Apparently they got my back.

Which makes them......on my Christmas card list. 

ALL of them.

Because here is what I learned: 

They can go through my account.
And, with permission, look at my transaction.
Which....makes them probably more knoweledge-able about me than my
mom
or my pharmacist.

So!
SO!

DEar identify Thieves.....

....don't mess with me!

I can find you.
And my bank...they've got my back.

Sincerely,
Me.